With heart

"Unmistakably, I can still feel your heart beat fast when you dance with me"
- Owl City, If My Heart Was A House

I can't get to sleep so I decided to write. All my notes and letters sadly you'll never get to know about. You can't. We can't afford it. So we've got to learn to distinguish what we need from what we want.

Tonight I attempted to call for my superhero. But Batman was too busy saving the rest of the world to realize. But it's alright. Catwoman's got to learn to stand on her own and fight her own fight. I'm not really upset. I guess it has always been the case that I could never really tell you how I felt since I knew that I had to be strong and cold in order to protect you from being hurt even more badly. Well, now that you're stronger and have moved on, it's time for me to slowly let it go. I think I can feel myself slowly withdrawing.

I'm excited yet afraid. Afraid that it may very well be the last time out with you. Don't think you'll know how important you are to me. That's why I need you around. I know you're walking. I always asked why you had to walk so fast. Haha. I hope you won't walk quickly or too far ahead of me. I hope you won't walk away from me. I hope you'll walk beside me. But of course, if you have to walk in that way, I'll collapse for a bit before learning to get up again I guess. From every fall you learn something new right? If it's the last, I wouldn't know. I hope I can still claim the hug.

I know this place is getting too personal. But I guess it's what's running through my mind. I've written it down but typing somehow soothes me down I guess. Sadly, my headache is still there after taking Panadol Extra. We'll see what happens next.