With heart

School is screwing up my mind big time. I come out of class today learning that people make friends with you to make use of you and you should do the same back. Seriously, who are all these people? I feel so beaten down by everything now. I don't have any spirit of survival within me. Project work is going to start coming in and I really don't care anymore. Every time during a lesson (or at least hers) I feel like I'm being forcefully pulled out of my bubble, with a gun to my head and forcing me to gorge down harsh and disgusting facts about society and reality that I choose not to believe in. Why is it so hard? They say, "That's the world for you." But why have we become like maniacs wanting a piece of each other? What happened to hope and optimism? It feels like a war zone. I feel the need to numb my mind and heart as I step forth into this battle field. All this frustration and despair in me. Oh dear.

"You alone are my strength my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield"
- As The Deer

Please save me. Please don't turn away. Please don't let me be insane.
Please.